Challenges of dating
As a result, you both may want different things from a relationship. Time and making sure he is comfortable is necessary to make sure the date goes smoothly. For some wheelchair users, the reason for the disability and the daily experiences of using a wheelchair can be quite emotional to handle.
Your relationship could end up being more like a father and daughter one than a romantic one where both parties are equal. Now add the stress of dating onto that and we feel like we will always stay single. If you feel uncomfortable telling your date all the ins and outs of your health right from the start, keep it vague. Make sure the love between you is genuine and not based solely on superficial issues such as these.
The other person needs to understand. Be open and find someone who accepts you for who you are. You also miss out on being with a person who is at the same life stage as you. Living with a chronic illness is a full time job.
Either the woman or her date will have to find out if the location is wheelchair-friendly. An understanding partner is very important. Today you may feel fine, but you never know what tomorrow brings. This makes it more likely they'll know how to treat you right and avoid mistakes they made in previous relationships. Make it clear to them that you can do things yourself and would love the emotional support, but are looking for an equal partnership.
Again, it is up to you to make sure you do not end up seeing an old man as a father figure when you are dating. Even when we feel bad, having contact with others can make us feel better. Although the man may be accustomed to these types of behavior from others, they may still hurt him and affect how much he enjoys his time on the date. Father Figure If you grew up without a stable father in your life, you may subconsciously end up seeing an older man as a replacement.
This may involve doing the driving, assisting him in getting in and out of the car, moving extra chairs, helping with his coat and holding the door open for him. There may be compatibility issues between you and him.
Low-key activities can be just as enjoyable and fulfilling. Older men know what they want in life, but this doesn't mean you won't go through hard times with them.
Although many men in wheelchairs might be quite autonomous, it may still be necessary for you to offer a helping hand. He will also be limited to places that are wheelchair accessible and have elevator lifts.
Skip mini-golf or other more active dates. He may also view you as the daughter he never had or wants to have again, if he has an adult daughter and wishes to relive raising her again through you.
You will have to analyze these possibilities and decide if they are worth the risk or not. You can only do what your body allows you to do.
Therefore, it is important you both come to a consensus on what you expect from the other in the relationship and stick to it. Look for a figure in other men, such as an uncle or family friend. Hannington Dia Dating an older man has its ups and downs.
Managing the Challenges of Dating With Chronic Illness - The Unchargeables
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